WOMEN�S LANGUAGE TRANSLATED

Yes = No

No = Yes

Maybe = No

I�m sorry. = You�ll be sorry.

We need... = I want

It�s your decision = The correct decision should be obvious by now. Do what you want... = You�ll pay for this later. We need to talk... = I need to complain Sure...go ahead = I don�t want you to.

I�m not upset = Of course I�m upset, you moron! You�re so manly = You need a shave and you sweat a lot. You�re certainly attentive tonight = Is sex all you ever think about? Be romantic, turn out the lights = I have flabby thighs. This kitchen is so inconvenient = I want a new house. I want new curtains = ...and carpeting, and furniture, and wallpaper..... Hang the picture there = NO, I mean hang it there! I heard a noise = I noticed you were almost asleep. Do you love me? = I�m going to ask for something expensive. How much do you love me? = I did something today you�re really not going to like.

I�ll be ready in a minute = Kick off your shoes and find a good game on TV.

Am I fat? = Tell me I�m beautiful.

You have to learn to communicate. = Just agree with me.

Are you listening to me!? = Too late, you�re dead.

Was that the baby? = Why don�t you get out of bed and walk him until he goes to sleep.

I'm not yelling! = Yes I am yelling because I think this is important.

In response to What�s wrong?:

The same old thing = Nothing

Nothing = Everything

Nothing, really = It�s just that you�re such an idiot!

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